life as a momma and papa

this is my hubby and my lil son

hubby is at work at this time.. his shift is from 8am-8pm. So momma and her lil son are at home for the past 1 month.. last week , QI was having his first outing with his momma n papa... we were eating pizza hut.. opss... although i was in my tight confinement programme that was monitored by my ma... i ate only tuna sandwich without salad and tomato... and cheese pizza only without meat or chicken.. i was so happy that hubby let me ate those thing that i've craving since i delivered QI..

i just feeling so bored that nothing else except to feed QI and to put him to sleep and to change his nappy.... i want my life back.. i want to go shopping , to do some exercise , to play sports , to be fit to do everything i want , to eat anything i like.. but now , life is totally change by means i have to take care of another human being that come into my life named baby QI...  he is so adorable btw..sometimes he can be cranky , sometimes he can be nice.. but all time he will cry for milk :( poor me i have no time to cook for myself and hubby always buy outside food to eat... i also had my lunch a lil bit late.. sometimes at 6 pm... oh goshh what a nice diet i have.i always hungry but i've no appetite to eat.. my priority now is my son.. i feed him first before i feed myself.. a lot of sacrifices since he was born..

at night his papa is my savior... he will get up at night to warm the milk for me.. (the expressed breat milk)

sometimes QI becomes crankier at night and hubby helps me to calm him down and to put him to sleep... thank you sayang :)

to be honest , breastfeeding is the biggest challenge for me after i had QI.. from the 1st day of his life , he was been fed with formula milk because i've no milk yet.. plus i was dizzy at that time... i couldn't even sit on the bed due to the sedative drug they gave me.. it was so sore whenever i tried to give him feeding directly to

my breast becausee of wrong position of his mouth... thank God it wasn't cracked yet. i didn't use any sort of medication to soothe it up but i had some breast massage done everyday ... eventually , at day 5 , my breast was so tender and painful... and i thought this is it!!! i pumped the breast milk and got 5 oz from both breasts... it was a relief after pumping.. and on that day , my son had his first milk from her mother... i'm so happy!

however i still have the neosure formula milk with me for standby if anything happens... example my boobs hurt so badly / cracked nipples / feverish ... because my son drinks more and more nowadays... believe or not , he drinks till 3 oz of milk everytime...

okay i will be continue to write more and more story about QI later because he is calling me for feeding right now.... till then!!!

some pics of my son

Qushairy Irsyad Bin Mohd Hafiz

labour experience part 2

23.09.2012

@ 11.15 am - started to bear down...it was so hard ... i was pushing till 12.15 pm... and the CTG shows fetal distress .
the specialist came by and double checked me... she was wondering why i was still there not delivered yet...
she said my baby was asynclitism with ROA position - right occipital anterior no wonder i was having a nightmare situation during that time... i was screaming like carzy when they started to off my epidural .. F*** it was so painful like i was going to die ... why they off it??? you know that if i want epidural at the first place means that i couldn't bear with pain idiot!!! what are they thinking???? they thought that the epidural make me felt numbness and i couldn't bear down completely.... that was because i was in pain!!!! pain pain n pain!! different people had different experience of pain.. but for i was like....''I DON'T WANNA GET PREGNANT AFTER THIS!!'' hahahha i was so pissed off and cried my lungs out. i don't care anymore what people were thinking of me... because i was facing the death at that time...  stupid hosp didn't prepare a good bed for the patient.. there was no bed handle to hold when you were in pain... and when i was in the lithotomy position , there was no proper setting for the leg.. they should know that fat women like me is so difficult to grab my own legs during pushing... due to the uncomfortable condition , i won't be able to push efficiently... stupid!! i hate that time when they all scream at me scolded me to push harder and keep telling me that i wasn't push .. F*** them all.... i was fasted for 13 hours in the LR and they should know that i've no energy....
@12.20 pm the specialist decided to C-sec me afterall.. they pushed me to OT straight away..
i was screamed like crazy and asked them to start on epidural again.... the anaest M.O came and started my epidural again till my leg couldn't be lifted up and the pain was totally gone..
on the way to the OT , i was like a crazy women.. i couldn't stop crying thinking that i was a totally a failure.. i couldn't push well. i apologized to all the staffs and the doctors because of my attitude... the pain made me angry....
in the OT , everything went well. my baby was born at 12.37 pm with birth weight of 3.31 kg and height 51 cm long at last i've heard my baby was crying under the warmer when they tried to do suction... what a lovely moment i had. they just gave me the baby to be kissed not to be hold yet... then they handed the baby to my hubby for azan.
i was put to recovery bay for an hour till i could feel my leg again. at that time the pain of skin incision was felt but not so painful..
@2pm i was brought back to ward and they gave me the baby... how precious it was when you hold your own baby in your hand for the first time. i thanked my hubby for been there for me whenever i was in pain..

 

labour experience part 1

21.09.2012

since morning , i felt the fetal movement was reduced . at 6 pm , the count was 2 kicks only .
so we decided to go to Putrajaya Hospital . I knew that at term baby might kicks slower than before due to no more space for him to move as he grows bigger in the uterus , however , my instinct was that my baby was not okay.. better for me to have a check . So we went to Putrajaya Hosp at 9 pm and arrived there approx at 10 pm .

@ 10pm i had my CTG done . everything looks good . the heart beat was 140 bpm and there were some tiny irregular contraction which i felt as brixton hicks contraction . However , i felt so scared about my baby's movement. is everything going well inside there??

@ 11 pm there's a houseman attended me and asked me several question as usual. She checked me and my cervix was still closed tightly and posterior . HURGHHH!! i thought that there would be some changes in my VE since i was at term on that day... but sadly it wasn't !
so she asked me to wait for a while at the exmination room . Then , after 30 minutes , there was a medical officer came and asked me some questions. I remembered her whom i followed up with. Thank GOD she recognized me and it was easier to explain what is the problem i faced today..
So she explained to me that i was at term , the baby was not moving so well today and probably i have to be induced!!.. OMG!! i can't believe it!! AAHHH... at last it was the time to be induced to labour after 40 weeks of waiting..

I knew that induction could be a failure. And this can leads to C-sec... YEAHHH I KNOW!! but at that time my baby is my life my everything.. i need to deliver him faster so that he could live in a better condition outside the womb plus i also wouldn't worry much after that...
But the problem is , Putrajaya Hosp was full and there's no empty bed in the ward for induction. She asked me wheather i was mentally prepared for induction or i wanted to wait for the labour to start... HELLOO!!! my baby was in bad shaped and you want me to go back home?? a BIG NO!! so decided to have an induction in another hospital.
actually , Putrajay Hosp has link to 2 other hospital . HKL nad Kajang Hosp. but my hubby really wanted me to deliver at HUKM.. it is more comfortable and have privacy room for delivery..

22.09.2012

@ 1 am we went to HUKM

@ 2 am - again same procedures done such as CTG and VE!! guess what i was 2 cm dilated!! OMG that was uninduced yet okay!! what a great progress it seemed..

@ 3 am - i was warded

@ 7 am - i was attended by houeseman who did morning round there.. as usual , he asked me a lot of questions... and after discussed with the medical officer and specialist , they decided to put me on prostin and checked me again at 10 am.

@ 10 am - the os still 2 cm posterior.. You know what , it was the horrible painful VE i've had because the M.O's fingers were very short and she tried to push hardly into my v***** to grab the cervix... WHAT THE F*** i swear to GOD if i could kick her face out of me... the best doctor who did VE without pain was a houseman at Putrajaya Hosp... smooth and comfortable...

@ 3 pm - i was checked again , but still 2 cm posterior.. the specialist decide if the VE done is 3 cm , they wanted to rupture my membrane and send me to LR

@ 10 pm -okay the VE was 3 cm... ARM done and clear liquor thank GOD!! I  was sent directly to LR
I called my hubby to come faster before the time to push

23.09.2012
@12 mn - the pain was bearable and i could answer the question been asked by the medical students.. they were suprised because i was doing so fine although my contraction was sooo strong.

@12.30am - i grabbed my hubby hand and cry.Contraction was so hard  till i scream for help and i need the epidural urgently.. The pain was unbearable and i wish that i was C-sec earlier.
the nureses at LR knew that i am a doctor but they said that there was no epidural after office hour... F*** all of you... what the heck.. i was in pain and they sain there was no epidural? Initially , the M.O in the ward reminded me to get epidural if i was in bad condition.after an hour of crying and struggling with the pain , hubby decided that i have to have the damn epidural right now!!

@ 1 am - anaest M.O came by and gave a an epidural... what a relief!!! i felt numbness all over my both legs but still i could lift up my legs.. the labour pain soothed up suddenly and i fall asleep till 6 am.
You know what , i dilated till 6 cm @ 6 am... what a long journey to face...

@ 8 am - 7cm dilated the pain increases but still bearable because of the epidural was still going on

@ 10 am - i was 9 cm dilated . i felt a big pressure down there... like constipated pain , and felt like to poop...

@ 11 am - i was fully dilated and there were a looott of nurses , H.O and a M.O attended me . The M,O was the main doctor who handled me because i am a doctor also.. they said it was not a H.O case... Glad to hear that!! lols

to be continued....