@ 11.15 am - started to bear down...it was so hard ... i was pushing till 12.15 pm... and the CTG shows fetal distress .
the specialist came by and double checked me... she was wondering why i was still there not delivered yet...
she said my baby was asynclitism with ROA position - right occipital anterior no wonder i was having a nightmare situation during that time... i was screaming like carzy when they started to off my epidural .. F*** it was so painful like i was going to die ... why they off it??? you know that if i want epidural at the first place means that i couldn't bear with pain idiot!!! what are they thinking???? they thought that the epidural make me felt numbness and i couldn't bear down completely.... that was because i was in pain!!!! pain pain n pain!! different people had different experience of pain.. but for i was like....''I DON'T WANNA GET PREGNANT AFTER THIS!!'' hahahha i was so pissed off and cried my lungs out. i don't care anymore what people were thinking of me... because i was facing the death at that time... stupid hosp didn't prepare a good bed for the patient.. there was no bed handle to hold when you were in pain... and when i was in the lithotomy position , there was no proper setting for the leg.. they should know that fat women like me is so difficult to grab my own legs during pushing... due to the uncomfortable condition , i won't be able to push efficiently... stupid!! i hate that time when they all scream at me scolded me to push harder and keep telling me that i wasn't push .. F*** them all.... i was fasted for 13 hours in the LR and they should know that i've no energy....
@12.20 pm the specialist decided to C-sec me afterall.. they pushed me to OT straight away..
i was screamed like crazy and asked them to start on epidural again.... the anaest M.O came and started my epidural again till my leg couldn't be lifted up and the pain was totally gone..
on the way to the OT , i was like a crazy women.. i couldn't stop crying thinking that i was a totally a failure.. i couldn't push well. i apologized to all the staffs and the doctors because of my attitude... the pain made me angry....
in the OT , everything went well. my baby was born at 12.37 pm with birth weight of 3.31 kg and height 51 cm long at last i've heard my baby was crying under the warmer when they tried to do suction... what a lovely moment i had. they just gave me the baby to be kissed not to be hold yet... then they handed the baby to my hubby for azan.
i was put to recovery bay for an hour till i could feel my leg again. at that time the pain of skin incision was felt but not so painful..
@2pm i was brought back to ward and they gave me the baby... how precious it was when you hold your own baby in your hand for the first time. i thanked my hubby for been there for me whenever i was in pain..
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